Most of us don’t remember our first steps. Our first day at preschool. The smell of the room where we fell asleep as two-year-olds. And although we sometimes try to “reach back,” we tend to come across images told by family rather than real memories.
Why does this happen?
Scientists have been trying for years to answer the question of so-called childhood amnesia. This phenomenon causes most people to lose memory of events before the age of three or four.
Recent research published by Live Science reveals something very moving: the problem isn’t that young children “can’t remember.” Quite the opposite. Their brains are working at an extraordinary rate during this time.
In the hippocampus (the part of the brain responsible for memory), vast numbers of new neurons are being created. This process is called neurogenesis. And this extraordinary brain plasticity may be the reason why early memories fade.
It’s as if our internal “hard drive” is constantly being rebuilt. New connections help a child learn about the world, language, relationships, and emotions… but in the process, older memory traces are overwritten.
It’s beautiful and sad at the same time. Because it turns out that nature chose development over archiving memories.
A child isn’t meant to collect stories about themselves. They’re meant to absorb life. To learn safety. Closeness. Tones of voice. Tenderness or tension.
And perhaps that’s why, even if we don’t remember specific situations, our body often remembers emotions.
Psychology has long discussed emotional memory; that experiences are recorded not only in images and facts, but also in the nervous system, body reactions, and the way we experience relationships.
We may not remember a specific evening from childhood, but we remember feelings of:
🌿 peace with someone safe,
🌿 tension when we had to “be good,”
🌿 loneliness,
🌿 warmth,
🌿 anxiety,
🌿 relief.
This is precisely why childhood is so important. Not because a child will remember every day. But because their mind and body learn what the world is like.
Is it safe?
Is it possible to feel?
Is it possible to be oneself?
And perhaps this is the most delicate truth about memory: not everything that matters is written down in words.
Some things are written in the heart.
Beata 🤗
A source of inspiration and research:
Live Science https://share.google/dovK4BWB7LikZ7skH