There are many things you can say about gratitude, and you can talk about it for a long time. That’s exactly what we’ve been doing here at ‘Someone to Talk To’ throughout November. There were posts, interviews, lives and even a survey on our social media about it. We talked… and we talked… because there’s a lot to talk about…
Gratitude is an expression of appreciation for what you have, regardless of monetary value. It comes from inside you and it is an affirmation of goodness and warmth.
Did you know that there were studies on twins that showed that about 50% of happiness is based on genetics? 50% of your genetics determines your predisposition to happiness. Hmmm… that’s 50%, what about the other half?
Another study showed that 10% of happiness has to do with your life circumstances such as your health, your relationships, your wealth…
And that’s it. This means that you have control over 40% of your own happiness. You have a lot of scope here, as does your creativity. For some this is a very good news, but for those who are less creative and believe that others are responsible for their happiness, it is less so.
Following the above, shouldn’t I ‘educate myself (since I know that I can create my own happiness) and my children (even adult ones) in gratitude’? You don’t ‘have to’ do anything, and I don’t ‘have to’ either – that’s the main thing! We can choose to do so – consciously.
You will ask what education in gratitude is. That’s a good question. Below I will focus on the children’s aspect of this topic.
Education for gratitude is a liberation from selfishness, a liberation from a demanding approach to one’s surroundings, but also learning the art of enjoying the little things, the ability to accept everything as a gift.
Did you know that many children between the ages of 3 and 5 already understand a lot of emotions? This also includes gratitude.
We supposedly teach children simple words to express gratitude, but sometimes nothing comes of it. If you, as a parent, don’t put emotion into your words and actions, how will your child learn to do so? The ideas you will read about in a moment are supposed to be filled with real emotion. Otherwise, you will be artificial and you will be perceived that way.
How to teach a child gratitude?
- Say please and thank you sincerely.
- Model gratitude by example by expressing it in an authentic way.
- Tell your children why you are grateful for them.
- Share your gratitude at the table.
- Compliment others, including children.
- Look for inspiring moments during the day and talk about them out loud.
- Teach your children to thank people who do things for them.
- Write and send thank you cards.
- Help your child find opportunities to show gratitude by asking questions.
- Help your child to help someone less fortunate.
- Volunteer and talk about it.
- Speak out loud about the things you are grateful for.
- Support a charity event together.
- Practice gratitude with your child before bed.
- Be consistent.
Of course, gratitude can have a dark side. This happens when you expect recognition, thanks, praise… Such behaviour or atmosphere you create can make the ‘gifted’ person feel coerced, guilty, begin to suspect insincerity, and may even become offended or scared. Gratitude is the opposite of expectations.
You can fix this by switching from a philosophy of lack to a philosophy of abundance. Example?
“When do we start cuddling?” – is a statement of lack.
Remembering that we hugged earlier in the day, yesterday or even a few days ago (also talking about it as a good memory) is an expression of gratitude for the hug – and it is a philosophy of abundance: “Thank you for the wonderful hug yesterday. Thanks to this, I still feel important to you.”
Most adults and children want to be grateful, want to notice and appreciate your altruistic gift. Let them do it. Let yourself to do it too.
I’m here to help you
Beata